Not Room Enough to Recieve It

I am sitting in a living room that almost brings me to tears. I have food for the food bank in one pile, surplus pots and bowls for DI in another, two ginormous siutcases that still need to be unpacked, a pile of books, a giant high-chair box, a stroller, and baby toys everywhere. I am overwhelmed with everything I have to do. I just spent an hour rearranging the entire kitchen and cleaning out cupboards so I could fit Jo's new highchair in there. (Thanks Marmsy! Jo loves it!) And I need to go through Jo's closet and all her drawers tomorrow so I can find somewhere to put all her new adorable clothes. It is times like this when I think of that verse about how Heavenly Father will "open the windows of heaven, and pour out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" and know that he has an ironic sense of humor.

I am so incredibly blessed I cannot manage to keep it all under control. I wish I had a bigger apartment to house all of our wonderful things, and I wish I had a bigger heart so I didn't feel like I am going to shatter into a million pieces because I love my family so much. There is so much for me to be grateful for I feel overwhelmed and, disgustingly enough, at times burdened by it.

For example: I just spent the last week visiting family at my mom's house. I was so wrapped up in holiday happenings I forgot to check GoDealGo to see if I should be paid, I almost missed out on seeing a friend because I never checked facebook, and I neglected my email, therefore missing a notice from my Professor. Normally I take care of these tasks first thing when I get home, but I was so distracted by enjoying my time with the oddest conglomeration of individuals to pass for a family that I completely forgot about the basics. And what's more! Jo was spoiled beyond belief. There was hardly a moment where she had to sit down and amuse heself. She was constantly being coddled and hugged and petted that now she thinks that is how it should always be. She has gotten into the habit of screaming until somebody drops everything and gives her the attention she feels she deserves. If I look away for more than two minutes she lets me know that I am not doing as good a job as grandma. I'm at my wits end! How can I take care of that princess and still study, work, clean, cook, shop, and read every now and then?

My happy, hectic lifestyle at my mom's house has made my real life seem difficult. I feel like lounging around, eating dark chocolate, and watching my 5 year old niece lavish love on Jo, while my mom makes a delicious dinner. (P.S. I gained 6 pounds during our one week vacation - sick.) Instead, I am avoiding the angry glances of dirty laundry and dusty shelves. My return to the real world has been a regretful one, but honestly, what do I have to complain about? Cleaning out my daughter's dresser to fit new clothes? Holy cow! If that is all I have to complain about then I have got it made. And dusting shelves can even be fun - I like to sweep over the books and  ruminate on the many character crushes I have (Professor Baehr melts my heart.)

All in all, I am so blessed I am ready to burst at the seams. Being with my family was a special treat that I wouldn't trade for anything - even a bledtec. But my return to normal life is a pleasure too, I have such a pleasant life to live.

I am the happiest girl out there - even on sad days. I am so happy to have Jordan, Jo, and everything else in my little world. My life is the perfect combination of family, friends, music, books, and beautiful things. Talk about a dream salad!

I love you all! Thanks for shooting your rays of sunshine in my direction. Even if I am flaky and pale on the outside, I am one lush African on the inside. (Reverse oreo baby!)

Haha. It is late. I am off to bed with a heart like a helium balloon.

GOODNIGHT!!!